If I die young, don’t bury me in satin. Bury me in Louboutin.

If I can’t own a pair in life, I SHALL IN DEATH.
I know it could be worse, but it’s still annoying.
Here, daughter, let me ask you why you’ve chosen the career path that you have, listen to your very passionate and reasonable answer, and then criticize it as being incomplete and incorrect.
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Also, oh let me just walk in the door from work and start bitching at you before a greeting. Actually, ha ha screw that, I’m going to call you from the driveway and start the bitching before I even get inside!
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I see you’ve been relaxing this week after a difficult semester. You need to get your lazy ass up and doing something. We’re leaving you a list of meaningless shit to do for us tomorrow. Psh yeah, like you could actually have plans with “friends” or something.
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One more thing, I’m going to play around with you and pick on you, but you better not play back or shit is getting serious and you will be in deep, child. Oh, and if you decide to not speak to restrain your sass, I’ll just pick the living shit out of you until you just about explode AND THEN I can yell at you for being an ungrateful, sassy, disrespectful child.
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Oh, by the way, you get your ass in gear next semester because you sucked it up last time. (Insert guilt trip about not fulfilling potential here) And no, you cannot pick out your own outfit for your meinterview.
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You’re starting to wear too much mascara.
.
?!!??!!!1!
CANIMOVEBACKTOATHENSNOW?
Rant complete.
» On a more positive note, the meinterview (meeting/interview) mentioned above in parental rants is for a KILLER internship with one of the top defense attorneys in my area. MondayMondayMonday
When an ugly guy buys me a drink
I’m just like,
(Source: racheljingles)
OMG Hahahahaha





